My child is turning one this September. As this day gets closer, I have become more reflective on the preparation that occurred leading up to Ro’s birth. I dedicate this post to my best friend, so when the time comes she might find comfort in the journeys of all birthers before her.
I think all first time birthers (not all pregnancies result in birth), plan their ideal Birth Plan. People would ask me what was my birth plan and for a while I didn’t have one. My answer was, “My hope is all natural…” Thinking that’s all there is to it, but not isn’t true. Your birth plan can consist of where the birthing takes place, who is in the room and who/what is guiding your baby earth side.
Ideally, I wanted to be cool, calm, and collected because I am diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I didn’t want to freak out that I cannot deliver my own child vaginally, or that I develop hella post-partum. In order to get this somewhat in control, I asked my OBGYN if I could continue taking my Prozac through pregnancy, after she consulted with my psychiatrist, the conclusion was YES! That was the first step I took to plan who I came as in my labor and delivery.
In my third trimester I began to reflect and explore the parts of a birth plan that i thought was important to me. My exploration began by reading other mom blogs on Pinterest, I started listening to Big Fat Positive Podcast on Spotify, and of course I asked my sisters and mom for their stories. With time, I gradually learned that giving birth isn’t about a plan, it is about the first story we get to tell about our little loves.
The idea of a birth plan became more clear when my husband and I began going to out Labor and Delivery classes provided by Kaiser. The course was either two or three sessions, for about two hours. In these classes we learned about different birthing postures, partner support, the various ways you can birth, what the hospital offers, and what to pack in your hospital bag. This really made it clear on how to mentally prepare, how to have an open conversation with your partner, and a safe space to ask questions. We took our classes at the Kaiser Hospital in Oakland, California. I do suggest you take whatever classes your hospital, midwife and/or doula offer you. These people guide you to prepare for a life changing event that, at the end of the day, you cannot control. This is a tool that helped me calm down and level out my anxiety – you kinda feel in control.
When asking for advice from the birthers before me, I learned that it was important to think about PLAN A-Z! You really just never know. Well, these are the questions I asked myself and then asked my husband:
- What if I need a C-section?
- What if I can’t handle the pain?
- Should/Could I take CBD edibles/tinctures?
- Will I bleed to death?
- Will she come out breathing?
- How will we create a calm environment?
- Can my mom make it?
- Will we be able to have a doula?
- Will we be fighting during labor?
- Can Vinny drive us to the hospital under pressure?
- What’s in the diaper bag?
So, here it is, our Birth Plan. Let me tell you, that through this process we made a hard effort to talk about our fears and hopes, our shared knowledge, and what we have learned in our classes. I like to believe that I have a romantic sensibility, so I thought about creating a soundtrack to the laboring experience. Throughout my pregnancy we created a playlist for labor and delivery that depicted songs we felt were important to us; a representation of combining our personal tastes and cultures. You can listen to our playlist on Spotify: Rosemary. I also played some calming non-verbal music, like meditation sounds and piano music; honestly can’t remember what the fuck it was. Here is a list of what we used to set the tone of the labor and delivery room:
- Essential oils diffuser
- Written affirmations from The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth
- Desired birthing positions
- No epidural
- Vaginal
- Tens
- Non-induced labor
- People in the room
- Doula
- Heat pad
- Breathing techniques
My actual birth did not fit this plan to the T, but it came pretty close. I know it was fortuitous for me to not have as many complications and I was able to trust the team in the room. Forever thankful.
There aren’t many words of wisdom I have here, but I know being prepared relieved my anxiety. Asking the same questions to different birth experiences and experts (doulas, midwives, L&D nurses/doctors, OBGYNs, and our ancestors) will help you find what fits your authentic birth journey.
All you parents-to-be, giving life is a radical and righteous act of love.
Araceli Espinoza Mead
STAY RAD MOMMAS