Spring brings us shedding. What am I letting go of? Last time I sat to write and reflect, I recognized that I was afraid.
Living in fear.
Since then, I have given myself the time to recognize and acknowledge all of the daily fears I have. I guess that is what it’s like to live in anxiety. Recalling all the little moments seeking approval before sending off an email, be reading it aloud time and time again.
My words scare me. Not from me, but how others perceive them. Is it honest; is it with openness? Maybe I am scared of my truths.
There was a time I lived without my shell. And it was a free life. I was creating and reflecting. I see now I am ready to revisit creation – when I am truly happiest. I think of what to paint now; to give honesty and truth.
I am looking at the authority I really have over the stories I want to tell. Thinking, “Why is this an important moment to reflect on? Is there pain or love behind this?”
Vanity has left and I recognize it is also essential to believe in my gift of creation, storytelling, and inspiration in which art is born out of. What does this ensure? My truth. A truth in experiences connected to community is where humility brings balance.
I let go of being afraid of who I am. Maybe this will save me from myself. I accept myself and the power within. There is fire in me.
I have authority over the stories I am apart of and tell them with humility.
Araceli Espinoza Mead