2020

Hey rad familia! As we round out the end of the year, I wanted to share a few reflections I have been having for a while now.

A few months ago, possibly around September 2020, my niece S asked me, “Tia Chely, if you had to describe 2020 in one word, what would it be?” And since then, I have not been able to shake that question off. My initial answer to my niece was uncertain. In this post, I will share a word for every month since September 2020 until December 2020. To do every single month is just too much! Let’s just say that the word for January-February: work; March-August: alcohol.

September 2020 – Flustered

My daughter was returning full-time to daycare. Between the months of June and August she was only going once a week. And from March-June, she was full-time at home. Sending her full-time back to daycare hurt. But as parents and partners, we knew it was best for the whole family. By the end of August, we were fighting the most. We were constantly mad with one another; I worked too much, he was the main caretaker and couldn’t accomplish his work tasks. The house was a mess, so we were always flustered.

So by taking her back full-time to daycare, we felt it was best for our work-life balance. This helped our marriage in a way that we really wanted. We now had some daytime to talk with one another and focus on work. Rosemary deserved more undivided attention than we were able to provide. Daycare gave that to her, and she was happier without us. She now had the ability to play and explore without restrictions or frustrated adults.

The uncertainty that came with this month was: is this a good choice? Will she bring the virus home? Can we continue to afford it? Are we going back to school??

October 2020 – Fun

Now that we have entered October, we saw numbers of COVID-19 lower in our area. This month we were determined to have fun with Halloween! We love the middle of fall and all that comes with it.

We went to a pumpkin patch with our compadres (Ro’s godparents). Driving down to Half Moon Bay is always such a joy for us. The annual Pumpkin Festival was cancelled, but we intended to keep our tradition alive.

ALSO….

THE DODGERS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!! THIS MOMENT IN MY LIFE WAS MAGICAL!!!!!! I CELEBRATED, WE DRANK, I CRIED!!!!! This was a moment I had literally been waiting for my whole life!! 2017 was robbed from us. So I gave it my all to celebrate my BOYS IN BLUE!! CHAMPIONS!!!!! LOS DOYERS POR VIDA!!!!!

Then, on Halloween we carved our pumpkins with my other compadre (I’m the godmother to her daughter). They came over and we drank as the girls explored pumpkin seeds. Nap time came and went. Then we met up again at our other compadres house for their COVID-safe block party. The kids went around the block for a costume parade, we barbecued, there was a costume contest, candies galore! We are grateful to be included on the block’s family fun!

On October 30th my mom called me letting me know she was exposed to the virus at work. She was already feeling sick. Her boss came to work sick that Monday, and her place of employment did not send the lady home.

NOVEMBER 2020 – FUCK!

By November 1st we figured my mom was COVID-Postive. Therefore, everyone in the house was now exposed to my mom. That includes my dad, younger sister, and my niece.

I would literally need to go through all my text messages to see what happened day by day or week by week. Honestly, I just can’t relive that.

All I can say is that I thought my sister, my mom, and dad were all going to die at some point or another during this month. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t think. All I did was drink and stay up late waiting to hear the latest news about my family. My sister was in the hospital for 5-6 days, and my dad was in the hospital for 11 days.

When my mom and sister first went to the hospital, there was only one floor for COVID patients, which was 2 or 3 days before my dad was admitted. And when my dad left the hospital, there were 3 floors for COVID patients! As I am writing this in present time, there are roughly 6 floors now and a portable morgue at this hospital. It has been 2 months since then.

Like I mentioned previously, I thought that my dad was on the brink of death. With the grace of God, he came home the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Gratitude for life was at an all-time high.

DECEMBER 2020 – FESTIVE

After the turmoil and stress that came with November, we were determined to celebrate life and to be as fucking festive as possible! We already knew we would not be traveling to see our families to all stay safe. We even asked my mother-in-law to reschedule her flight for the 2nd time.

This has been such a struggle to not see our families, but we took it upon ourselves to recognize that we are family enough. For our daughter we are enough to make happy memories. So, we took it upon ourselves to get her a few fun presents for Christmas, went to buy a tree and decorate it together, watch almost all the Holiday movies! We baked cookies, made arroz con leche, and ate so many tamales!

And, I took time to launch a trailer for A Rad Momma Podcast. The link is to listen on on Spotify, but you can also listen to the podcast on Apple Podcast and Anchor.Fm. With the turn of the Winter Solstice, it felt great to begin and push further this process of momma-influence.

Now, in the last few days of this month, we are taking time to be outdoors when it isn’t raining. We are both off of work this last week of December 2020. It feels really great to be able to give 100% of myself to my daughter during the week.

I will be launching the first episode of A Rad Momma Podcast in January 2021. Please leave a comment to share what topics you would like me to talk about.

STAY RAD MOMMAS